I adopted Suzy Fraggle when she was about 1-2 years old from a gentleman who trains drug recognition dogs. He found her at the dog pound and since she was great with a reward ball he thought she might do well in the program. She was pretty spastic though and she eventually failed out. I adopted her at that point. He warned me that she was dog aggressive but I fell in love with her and I would try everything I could to get her to accept my "pack" at home. Eventually she did very well in becoming one of the pack. Then she began challenging Bella to be the Alpha Dog. I figured once Bella reinforced her Alpha status Suzy would fall back into place. Unfortunately she didn't. Suzy just wasn't happy when anyone was paying attention to Bella now. She began growling at my sister for no reason when I wasn't there.
She also began having seizures at this point. I was willing to do anything to keep her from having seizures but the vets said it would be best to not put her on medication until the seizures were closer together. One day when my nephew and I took her to the lake for some fun, she had a seizure when she was in the water. It was a very scary thing to watch and try to help her through. Last week I finally had enough money to buy her a life jacket so she would be a little safer in the water in case she had another seizure.
I took her to the lake and she enjoyed being there every second. It was just her and the rocks at the bottom that she insisted on moving around one by one. When she finally rubbed the pads on her paws raw I knew it was time to go home. She walked beside me all the way up the huge hill to the truck. Usually she is running and pulling ahead of me. When we got home she got a bath to get rid of that fishy lake smell. Everyone was relaxing and she attacked Bella again for no reason. It was a very brutal thing to watch and try to get under control. I knew I was beaten. I could not guarantee at this point that she wouldn't hurt someone or someone else's pet if I found another home for her. The four years I had her and worked with her to socialize her and relearn how to not be aggressive was all undone that night.
I made the very difficult decision to put Suzy Fraggle to sleep. I am still not at peace with that decision and every single day I second guess myself and wonder what I could have done differently. Not that it matters anymore because I can't bring her back. I have a lot of guilt that I am dealing with because she was my Fraggle and I feel like I failed her. I hope that she is at peace now but I doubt she will ever forgive me.
I'm sorry Suzy Fraggle. I hope that you have found peace where you are.
