I have discovered that I have a wound that hasn't yet healed. I knew in the back of my mind that it would surface again and it has. Last week our department released our After-action report about the shooting which occured on campus last September. This report shows the things which went smoothly and things we need to improve upon. There are things which, in my opinion are not 100% accurate but they are there. This document was drafted by our department and not some outside source, so someone somewhere thought something didn't work right.
I wasn't sure I was ok with the media getting a hold of this and I made an effort to not watch the news reports on tv. Today I was reading a website I check from time to time about dispatching. It mostly features stories about poor decisions made by dispatchers. It was on the first page of the site and it bothered me that it was there.
Dispatch Monthly
Perhaps it is just my self inflicted guilt. My name isn't listed by the mistakes that I made in this report, but when I read it, I somehow add it. It feels like it's out there in blinking neon lights.
I suppose only time will heal. Well, time and no more media reports.
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